I have always asked myself, when is the right time to write this, and I always gave excuses to myself, because I actually do feel hurt whenever I think about it, I mean I do feel bugged by this situation always although I already kinda let go him, maybe it is because I am being emulative? and I thought I would've won his heart, and yet, I failed hardly to the ground, Wow! so this is the feeling of PAIN!!
Okay, talking about the HIM, well I don't think I want to describe him much, he's just a guy, a well groomed one, and he's NOT my typical type, he only fits one of my criteria, which is FAIR, I always like fair guys, YES I LIKE FLOWERY BOYS, *facepalm* I know, standing in line with them will only makes me uglier, BUT, I like fair skin, hahahahaha okay I wonder why I fall for him?! I think it happened to be kismet.
I never knew that getting someone heart is THAT hard, yeah maybe all these years I am only crazy for good looking guys, I mean literally YEAH, I am that kind of "appearance person", I gotta admit that Lengzai can't "feed you food" , but somehow I felt satisfied at least, ppls say handsome guys do not have a heart, they have a lot of hearts for ALOT OF PEOPLES, hmm kinda true also, because they have that ability to do that. I never really pay attention to the "heart" part all these whiles, the thing I care is okay "GET A effing BF" and "THAT's IT". you could say I am desperate, you can say I am too eager, too DRY, too HUNGRY or whatever it is, ppl have it, I gotta get one, when friends of yours all getting paired up, you will feel deeply in your heart, why am I always alone? #foreveralone
And this guy, he actually "responded" to me. For so many years, the guys I liked, always give me like, okay little kid, I don't like you, but we can be friends, or I have to say maybe because I am ugly or what, but maybe it's not, maybe I am uglier last time? so I always fall for guys who I doesn't KNOW AT ALL, mainly like a STRANGER, and I will swoon for them like nobody's business...RESPONDED as in he FLIRTS BACK? the way he spoke to me, I really thought I might have a chance this time, but too bad la I failed again, I tried so hard to become pretty every time, to attract his eyes, but I seemed to be not his type of girl, I felt so stupid, I dress up , dolled up is just for HIM but not myself, how stupid am I?? why did he have to do all these "special things" to me?? sweet talk is my stuff and my weak point, maybe I'm just too gullible, still the same me...
Anyways, I don't talk to him anymore, deleted him frm my contact list, cut off all the contacts with him, avoided him, eventually, I am partly recovered from the pain.haha, and now I am totally in my comfort zone when I see him with other girls. God bless. GOD BLESS YOU!